Dear Friend....

Dear Friend,

It's been a relief to be able to talk to you like this, because I really feel that you are helping me calm my nerves. I recently was home one day and everything was going well when I noticed something was wrong with my mom. You see, my mom's had this problem where she hasn't been able to sleep much for a lot of years now and she is constantly tired. I've known she has been depressed for a very long time, but the true meaning of the work depression was never very clear to me and now it is getting much clearer. I always thought depression was just someone who was constantly sad and wasn't happy, but there is a lot more to this. I like to think that up until now I have had a happy life and that many things have happened thus far that has made my life this happy. Although, I realize that when looking outside my own life everyone is not like me. My mom does a lot of work everyday from cleaning the house, to taking care of my brother, to making dinner, to doing laundry and much more. I see her do all these things and know she is a strong women, but I know deep down how depressed she really is. Somedays she just doesn't want to do anything and says she would rather sleep all day. I see this and it hits me hard, because I can't do anything to make her happy, because her mood won't change. I often have this feeling that I'm infinite. By infinite I mean that when I'm out doing something I love most i feel like I have absolutely no problems and that feels nice. I guess I just wish that my mom could have the feeling of being infinite by finding something that makes her so happy that even if it's just for a second she feels that feeling of freedom. I really do think that soon this could happen and I'll be waiting to tell you when it is.
With Best Regards,
Jebidiah