November 17th, 2008,
Dear Friend,
Today started out as a horrible day. It was one of those days where nothing goes right at all and you just feel like ripping your head off. I was at work today with the first headache and I couldn't sell one phone if i tried which made my day worse, but then things started to change because I thought of the big day I had a couple weeks ago. I came to work with a positive attitude and I wanted to succeed so I did. I did a personal best and sold 12 phones so it made my day very good. Even though I was having a tough time doing anything right today I found that if you concentrate on someething positive that has happened to you that it lightens the mood and makes your day much better just like it did to me.
My cousin and I have grown very close mostly because he moved here from New Mexico 4 years ago to work. He lived with us and I hung out with him everyday. He even took me to my first R rated movie which was always cool. On weekends we would go to movies or just go out to get away from school and work. One day, we were at home about to go eat and go bowling when he got a call that his mom/my aunt had passed away. He instantly fell to his knees in tears and could not stop crying and i tried to comfort him, but I found myself crying as well. This was a very tragic moment in my life and in the aftermath me and my cousin became even closer then before. We constantly would talk after this happened and me being there for him made things even better.
Often times I have found myself in situations where I can not handle and I don't know what to do. After relationship breakups I'm often hurt and do not feel like doing anything. Something that has always helped me get over this is the power of music. Music is always something that has helped me do anything I want. When I'm sad and not feeling good, listening to music and drowning into takes my mind off everything else. It is the most effective thing I have ever done, because no matter what the situation is I can rely on music as my escape to difficult situations.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Dear Friend...
November 4th, 2008
Dear Friend,
So today in class we were asked to start thinking ideas for our secret santa and everyone had to draw a name out of a box. I drew Megan, one of my old girlfriends!! I was very worried about this because i still had feelings for Megan so deciding on a gift would be very hard. I decided a very inexpensive and nice gift would be if i made a mixtape which could maybe help me get her back. I really love this girl so i labeled it "Just Me and You". It has love type songs on it like these
J.Holiday-Suffocate
Usher-Appetite
Marvin Gaye-Sexual Healing
Ne-yo-Closer
Gavin Rossdale-Love Remains the Same
Nickelback-Animals
Gavin Degraw-We belong together
Ne-yo- Do You
T.I.-Whatever you Like
and finally.....once again.....
J.Holiday-Suffocate
I chose Suffocate as the first and last song because I find myself listening to it all the time about her so it would be nice if she started by hearing it and also finished hearing it.
I hope this mixtape turns out to be the type of thing that whenever she listens to it she realizes I'm out here waiting for her and that it gives her a warm feeling knowing I haven't gone anywhere.
When it comes to describing my family is is very hard, but when I think hard about it I think that....
My dad could very well be the junior Donald Trump!
My mom reminds me of Martha Stewart (minus the jail part)
My brother is more annoying then a fly
My cousin is almost wiser then Abe Lincoln
My uncle looks just like the kernel from KFC.
With Best Regards,
Jebidiah
Dear Friend,
So today in class we were asked to start thinking ideas for our secret santa and everyone had to draw a name out of a box. I drew Megan, one of my old girlfriends!! I was very worried about this because i still had feelings for Megan so deciding on a gift would be very hard. I decided a very inexpensive and nice gift would be if i made a mixtape which could maybe help me get her back. I really love this girl so i labeled it "Just Me and You". It has love type songs on it like these
J.Holiday-Suffocate
Usher-Appetite
Marvin Gaye-Sexual Healing
Ne-yo-Closer
Gavin Rossdale-Love Remains the Same
Nickelback-Animals
Gavin Degraw-We belong together
Ne-yo- Do You
T.I.-Whatever you Like
and finally.....once again.....
J.Holiday-Suffocate
I chose Suffocate as the first and last song because I find myself listening to it all the time about her so it would be nice if she started by hearing it and also finished hearing it.
I hope this mixtape turns out to be the type of thing that whenever she listens to it she realizes I'm out here waiting for her and that it gives her a warm feeling knowing I haven't gone anywhere.
When it comes to describing my family is is very hard, but when I think hard about it I think that....
My dad could very well be the junior Donald Trump!
My mom reminds me of Martha Stewart (minus the jail part)
My brother is more annoying then a fly
My cousin is almost wiser then Abe Lincoln
My uncle looks just like the kernel from KFC.
With Best Regards,
Jebidiah
Monday, October 27, 2008
October 27th,2008
October 27th, 2008
Dear Friend,
Have I ever told you how beautiful my girlfriend is? I just get this feeling everytime I'm around her that nothing else really matters. I know what your thinking...how is this girl different then the others? It's hard to put it into words because even I can't describe all the emotions I feel about her. No matter how tired I am or stressed out as long as I can see her my day is instantly better, because she is the type of girl who can change my mood very easy. I was joking around with her once and said "baby you make my heart skip a beat", yeah, yeah, I know it's cheesy, but I actually meant it. Sometimes she will catch me looking at her through the corner of my eye and will ask me why I stare so much and i also say it's because she is so beautiful that I can't take my eyes off.
It's funny I was sitting with my dad the other day watching tv and talking about my future when all of a sudden my dad goes off talking about his "glory days". My dad talked about when he was younger and how he was happy doing so many different things. This whole conversation got me thinking about my glory days and I realized that I'm no where near my glory days. When I think about it more, I think my glory days will come after college when I finally do something with my life and find out what I'm doing with my career. My glory days will be when I have kids and I get to send them off on the right direction like my parents did with me.
My favorite part of the year is coming again when all my relatives come down to denver and we get to spend a couple days together. Thanksgiving is always my favorite time because it always means football,food,football then more food. We just have a good time and don't worry about work or anything else. I'm really excited this year because my cousin Fawad is coming and I rarely get to see him. He is about 1 year older then me and we both like all sports and used to play basketball in New Mexico a lot when I was younger. So seeing him will make this year even better. I really hope it goes well, but i have some more homework to do so we will have to pick this up later.
With best regards,
Jebidiah
Dear Friend,
Have I ever told you how beautiful my girlfriend is? I just get this feeling everytime I'm around her that nothing else really matters. I know what your thinking...how is this girl different then the others? It's hard to put it into words because even I can't describe all the emotions I feel about her. No matter how tired I am or stressed out as long as I can see her my day is instantly better, because she is the type of girl who can change my mood very easy. I was joking around with her once and said "baby you make my heart skip a beat", yeah, yeah, I know it's cheesy, but I actually meant it. Sometimes she will catch me looking at her through the corner of my eye and will ask me why I stare so much and i also say it's because she is so beautiful that I can't take my eyes off.
It's funny I was sitting with my dad the other day watching tv and talking about my future when all of a sudden my dad goes off talking about his "glory days". My dad talked about when he was younger and how he was happy doing so many different things. This whole conversation got me thinking about my glory days and I realized that I'm no where near my glory days. When I think about it more, I think my glory days will come after college when I finally do something with my life and find out what I'm doing with my career. My glory days will be when I have kids and I get to send them off on the right direction like my parents did with me.
My favorite part of the year is coming again when all my relatives come down to denver and we get to spend a couple days together. Thanksgiving is always my favorite time because it always means football,food,football then more food. We just have a good time and don't worry about work or anything else. I'm really excited this year because my cousin Fawad is coming and I rarely get to see him. He is about 1 year older then me and we both like all sports and used to play basketball in New Mexico a lot when I was younger. So seeing him will make this year even better. I really hope it goes well, but i have some more homework to do so we will have to pick this up later.
With best regards,
Jebidiah
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Dear Friend....
Dear Friend,
It's been a relief to be able to talk to you like this, because I really feel that you are helping me calm my nerves. I recently was home one day and everything was going well when I noticed something was wrong with my mom. You see, my mom's had this problem where she hasn't been able to sleep much for a lot of years now and she is constantly tired. I've known she has been depressed for a very long time, but the true meaning of the work depression was never very clear to me and now it is getting much clearer. I always thought depression was just someone who was constantly sad and wasn't happy, but there is a lot more to this. I like to think that up until now I have had a happy life and that many things have happened thus far that has made my life this happy. Although, I realize that when looking outside my own life everyone is not like me. My mom does a lot of work everyday from cleaning the house, to taking care of my brother, to making dinner, to doing laundry and much more. I see her do all these things and know she is a strong women, but I know deep down how depressed she really is. Somedays she just doesn't want to do anything and says she would rather sleep all day. I see this and it hits me hard, because I can't do anything to make her happy, because her mood won't change. I often have this feeling that I'm infinite. By infinite I mean that when I'm out doing something I love most i feel like I have absolutely no problems and that feels nice. I guess I just wish that my mom could have the feeling of being infinite by finding something that makes her so happy that even if it's just for a second she feels that feeling of freedom. I really do think that soon this could happen and I'll be waiting to tell you when it is.
With Best Regards,
Jebidiah
It's been a relief to be able to talk to you like this, because I really feel that you are helping me calm my nerves. I recently was home one day and everything was going well when I noticed something was wrong with my mom. You see, my mom's had this problem where she hasn't been able to sleep much for a lot of years now and she is constantly tired. I've known she has been depressed for a very long time, but the true meaning of the work depression was never very clear to me and now it is getting much clearer. I always thought depression was just someone who was constantly sad and wasn't happy, but there is a lot more to this. I like to think that up until now I have had a happy life and that many things have happened thus far that has made my life this happy. Although, I realize that when looking outside my own life everyone is not like me. My mom does a lot of work everyday from cleaning the house, to taking care of my brother, to making dinner, to doing laundry and much more. I see her do all these things and know she is a strong women, but I know deep down how depressed she really is. Somedays she just doesn't want to do anything and says she would rather sleep all day. I see this and it hits me hard, because I can't do anything to make her happy, because her mood won't change. I often have this feeling that I'm infinite. By infinite I mean that when I'm out doing something I love most i feel like I have absolutely no problems and that feels nice. I guess I just wish that my mom could have the feeling of being infinite by finding something that makes her so happy that even if it's just for a second she feels that feeling of freedom. I really do think that soon this could happen and I'll be waiting to tell you when it is.
With Best Regards,
Jebidiah
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Dear Friend
September 17th,2008
Dear friend,
I am writing to you because I believe you are the only one who can truly understand me. I used to feel so young and so free, but now I feel like I'm losing it. My life has become hard and I often keep everything bottled up inside, because I feel like no one will listen except for you. I used to feel like I could do anything and that I had control over everything, but in the last 4 months things have gone downhill and I have hidden the person I really am. I've started to go to school and that is something I have always looked forward to, but I also started a job which has now taken over my life. I feel like "life" for me has become my work and my school. I've always wanted to be busy and have a good job, because I like to make money, but at a certain point it has gotten to be too much and now I find myself here alone, writing to you, because I feel that you would understand, because you know the struggles and obstacles of life. I don't generally let people in my head and let them know how I feel, but I guess I just need to know that I can relate to someone out there and that someone has the same feeling as me. The feeling that I'm locked up in a cage and even though I hold the key to change it, I continually don't, because I feel that I'm a strong person and can handle it. You of all people should know what I feel like, because me and you are much alike when it comes to our feelings. Within the next couple months I hope I get a better understanding for what life is really about and maybe that will help me become a stronger person, someone who isn't constantly tired and stressed. I'm too young to start my life off like this so I feel it's time for a change and I think you can help. Everyone learns the secrets of life on their own and others find it through writing down their feelings and having a friend like you who can help. So, I guess the real reason I wrote this letter, is because I finally feel like dealing with these problems on my own is not as helpful as it will be sharing them with you.
With best regards,
Jebidiah
Dear friend,
I am writing to you because I believe you are the only one who can truly understand me. I used to feel so young and so free, but now I feel like I'm losing it. My life has become hard and I often keep everything bottled up inside, because I feel like no one will listen except for you. I used to feel like I could do anything and that I had control over everything, but in the last 4 months things have gone downhill and I have hidden the person I really am. I've started to go to school and that is something I have always looked forward to, but I also started a job which has now taken over my life. I feel like "life" for me has become my work and my school. I've always wanted to be busy and have a good job, because I like to make money, but at a certain point it has gotten to be too much and now I find myself here alone, writing to you, because I feel that you would understand, because you know the struggles and obstacles of life. I don't generally let people in my head and let them know how I feel, but I guess I just need to know that I can relate to someone out there and that someone has the same feeling as me. The feeling that I'm locked up in a cage and even though I hold the key to change it, I continually don't, because I feel that I'm a strong person and can handle it. You of all people should know what I feel like, because me and you are much alike when it comes to our feelings. Within the next couple months I hope I get a better understanding for what life is really about and maybe that will help me become a stronger person, someone who isn't constantly tired and stressed. I'm too young to start my life off like this so I feel it's time for a change and I think you can help. Everyone learns the secrets of life on their own and others find it through writing down their feelings and having a friend like you who can help. So, I guess the real reason I wrote this letter, is because I finally feel like dealing with these problems on my own is not as helpful as it will be sharing them with you.
With best regards,
Jebidiah
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